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Hong Kong - The Urban Aokigahara Forest

Day 237. 103 to go. 

I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up alone, it’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel all alone.

樹海

Lamenting in the sea of trees

If no one hates you, you are doing something wrong
Downtown Singapore

Downtown Singapore

Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there

Painscreams

Every day fade into a new shade of gray
Am a prey praying a way out of this fray
With no escaping the tormenting stress of isolation
Self-destruction seems like an option worth consideration

Back home where stress of examination just as influential
But counter-acted by the love from my friends no isolation
No longer the case in this new place of different traditions
With no hope in sight to cope with this choking manifestation

Is it really worth the effort?

Day 114

You don’t know what you got till is gone.


People always say treasure your time in high school, treasure the friends you make that. Cos upon leaving high school, and into university, is a whole different ball game yo. 

Examination and stress, that is always expected.
Being able to relieve that stress by spending time with you friends you have know for years: Great way to relieve all the stress after a full day of studying.

Just don’t have the luxury right now.

Is just constant stress day in day out, and just no relieve in sight.

This is just too much to bear.

I miss home. I miss my pals back home. I miss my family. I miss bros. I miss MD.

Is this so call “better education” really worth it?

i beg to differ.

fucking fuck  

Harajuku Day, 5th of Dec

Dias 111. Harajuku kind of day. 

Got raped in my science philo exam today. Not a great start.
4 more finals coming up, plus one final stat report.
shit looking pretty grim

Was eyeballing some potential exchange programme… all seems to demand a GPA thats ever more impossible.

Upon departure promised myself on the emphasis on the utmost nature of academic, regardless. Stubborn some may call but is still appears to be my aim. However does not seem to be able to stick by this principle. Am constantly letting things slip pass… affecting my grades… falling below average … is this what I have choose to do after sacrificing everything I had back home?

Desperate need for a re-evaluation.

Can’t wait till this nightmare can be over and done with… just wana wake up.
Had a freakish as hell dream last night. I dreamed that a psycho maniac ran into where I live, and was knifing my friends. scared the living shit out of me. 

thank god it was a dream.

In desperately need of some R&R.

Yea.
vita.

Ability to accommodate the countenance of our innate sense of social conformity without the disorientation of critical strives for differences
Sapientiae Cicatrix (XCIV)
Being different

Please pardon the tone of this paragraph, as in no way do I attempt to attempt disrespect anyone.

Just had a 2 hour discussion with a philosophical professor, and shit is that 2 hour life changing

Success is an relativistic measurement, for as one to be considered to be successful, there must be one to be a failure, for as its this contrast which constitute one being labeled “Successful”. One will not be considered successful if his actions are standardized and “fits-in” with the crowd

How can one define this “relativity”?

In a probabilistic world , for one to be successful, one must be statistically different from the mean. This would constitute actions, attitudes and behaviors which are statistically different.

Oddly enough, it day to day language, many of us would interpret this “statistically different” with labels such as “odd”, “weird”, “Outcast”.

This label all seems contain fragments of  negative appraisal.
 
Paradoxically, our modern contemporary society seems to habituate conformation  and the absences of this often leads to negative clash-backs.

Humans are social animals, the intuition to conform is to rudimentary and fundamental, it can be compared to human’s ability to breath and keep our heart beating unconsciously.

Therefore

A delicate and precious balance will need to be made when ones decided to strive for success. That is

          ”Ability to accommodate the countenance of our innate sense of social conformity without the disorientation of critical strives for differences” 

The passing on and teaching of the techniques and knowledge to achieve this balance should be at the core of the fundamentals of the teaching of knowledge.